As a gay guy, I have a low tolerance for hypocrisy. I think mainly because I have lived a life where I was told that my feelings were wrong ---that being gay is unnatural and against 'God's Law,' only to see my 'authority figures' caught up in indiscretions of their own.
I still experience the after-effects of low self esteem and self worth because of gay feelings I now know I couldn't control.
Anyway so, as a gay man, when I see a television preacher or conservative politician caught with his (and it is always a man) pants down, I get angry. It's probably the same feeling most gay people have when a man like George Rekers (the outspoken advocate of a homosexuality 'cure' ) gets caught with a gay prostitute after traveling Europe on the taxpayers' dime (Florida and South Carolina to name two States). How can he judge gay people, and moreover, why is he so dishonest with himself?
I have no answers to these questions. I can only say that I am a hypocrite too. I have decried commercialism, and gone out and bought my favorite designer. I have told students to be kind to peers and strangers; then, I rudely cut in line if I am tired or just want to get home. I say I want equality but wouldn't mind if I got a little extra money back from my taxes this year :-P.
It's not just me, I know that. Prime Minister Abhisit says he wants to give Thais the freedom to speak, but then prosecutes opposition leaders who do so. He's a politician! My boss believes in fair treatment for everyone, but always lobbies a little harder for the English language department. He's a politician too! My mom says she loves everyone, but my brothers and sisters and I usually get the leftovers from family Thanksgiving dinner (sorry to all my cousins :-P). She's just my mom :-)!
There's varying degrees of hypocricy of course, and it's not just the people we follow, but the mechanics that drive them. Capitalism, democracy, socialism, and market theory are all plagued with PR problems associated with inherent unfairness and hypocricy. We live it every day, but I just get so worked up about it sometimes.
I have to deal with that and be honest with myself. Long term anger isn't a positive emotion and I have to overcome it.
I think it starts with admitting who I am. I am flawed and weak. I make poor decisions some times :-P. I am also a person that does generally care about other people though..... and I'm gay :-). I admit to all of these things and that I am still working every day to accept myself, to overcome negative emotions, and to examine the reasons behind my feelings. I want to work harder, be more mindful --- I want to be a better person.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Pie in the Sky
I probably should be going out more. My friends that haven't fled the country are still hanging around Silom and DJ Station. They're hanging out with the same guys, trying to pick up some new ones, or offing money boys from a go-go bar. Some have asked me to go down and hang out, but I've been pretty lazy after teaching a full load of classes. I have 28 hours per week in the classroom this semester, with Saturday classes too :-).
I've been staying in then, and that means I have alot of time for Thai politics. That might not be a good thing?
As I've said, the latest government movements seem to center on emphasizing the 'road map to reconciliation' and prosecuting opposition figures both in court and the press.
This 'road map' is always a source of interest for me. Prime Minister Abhisit says he is confident that it will assist Thailand in the 'healing process,' but will only happen, says Mr. Abhisit, if 95 percent of Thai people buy in to this plan. That number, he admits, will be difficult to achieve, but he does say the plan will work.
Of course, I'm not sure that anyone really knows what the 'plan' entails. I've seen no draft released to the public; I know only that it is a five-point plan designed for 'reconciliation,' whatever that means. To me, it certainly seems difficult to achieve 95% support for a plan that no one really understands, so perhaps Mr. Abhisit believes this strategy provides him plausible deniability. If the long view (history) does actually evaluate Mr. Abhisit's performance, perhaps they will see that he at least 'tried' to gain consensus with a plan, albeit one that no one understands and supposedly requires 95% support from a population that, as a whole, probably does not support his party.
There might be another method to Mr. Abhisit's current tack. As he continues to press for 'reconciliation,' his government continues to pursue terrorism charges against opposition leaders and their associates. By silencing opposition to the current government, Mr. Abhisit can gain control of public opinion, perhaps paving the way for further salesmanship. If the Prime Minister controls the public forum, he can sell his new plan and his version of events, explaining to the Thai people what 'really' happened the past two months.
I just saw a story today that reinforced this idea, as it looks like Mr. Abhisit has requested the government pay whatever is necessary to control tv satellites, which previously broadcasted the opposition's message. Mr. Abhisit says it's a matter of national security: http://www.bangkokpost.com/news/local/38817/govt-warned-thaicom-a-trap. A matter of national security or the security of his party?
I know I've been spending too much time at home, but I can't help myself. It's too interesting; I have to read more :-). Maybe I should go to DJ Station this weekend....
I've been staying in then, and that means I have alot of time for Thai politics. That might not be a good thing?
As I've said, the latest government movements seem to center on emphasizing the 'road map to reconciliation' and prosecuting opposition figures both in court and the press.
This 'road map' is always a source of interest for me. Prime Minister Abhisit says he is confident that it will assist Thailand in the 'healing process,' but will only happen, says Mr. Abhisit, if 95 percent of Thai people buy in to this plan. That number, he admits, will be difficult to achieve, but he does say the plan will work.
Of course, I'm not sure that anyone really knows what the 'plan' entails. I've seen no draft released to the public; I know only that it is a five-point plan designed for 'reconciliation,' whatever that means. To me, it certainly seems difficult to achieve 95% support for a plan that no one really understands, so perhaps Mr. Abhisit believes this strategy provides him plausible deniability. If the long view (history) does actually evaluate Mr. Abhisit's performance, perhaps they will see that he at least 'tried' to gain consensus with a plan, albeit one that no one understands and supposedly requires 95% support from a population that, as a whole, probably does not support his party.
There might be another method to Mr. Abhisit's current tack. As he continues to press for 'reconciliation,' his government continues to pursue terrorism charges against opposition leaders and their associates. By silencing opposition to the current government, Mr. Abhisit can gain control of public opinion, perhaps paving the way for further salesmanship. If the Prime Minister controls the public forum, he can sell his new plan and his version of events, explaining to the Thai people what 'really' happened the past two months.
I just saw a story today that reinforced this idea, as it looks like Mr. Abhisit has requested the government pay whatever is necessary to control tv satellites, which previously broadcasted the opposition's message. Mr. Abhisit says it's a matter of national security: http://www.bangkokpost.com/news/local/38817/govt-warned-thaicom-a-trap. A matter of national security or the security of his party?
I know I've been spending too much time at home, but I can't help myself. It's too interesting; I have to read more :-). Maybe I should go to DJ Station this weekend....
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Hangin Downtown
I don't go to the Sukumvit area downtown too often. It's pretty famous in the straight world though :-). Walk down a couple streets from the fancy shopping districts of Siam Paragon, Centralworld (at least the unsinged half), and Gaysorn (still standing, maybe the red shirts believe in tolerance?), and you come upon the world of straight and transexual women plying sex to legions of tourists from around the world.
Soi Cowboy and Soi Nana are the most famous strips of go-go bars in this area, and if you are interested, you can find thousands of Isaan and foreign girls working the bars for some cash. My door doesn't swing this way, but I have friends that... oh, I don't want to make you uncomfortable :-).
Anyway, I am always interested to walk around this area because there are people from areas of the world that I have never visited. I see Russians, Libyans, Iranians, Pakistanis (I know because they told me :-P), and many people from African nations. I've talked to many of these people just to see where they're from, ask them about life in Thailand, you know :-).
Many of the Africans seem to live here full time, and some of them, I've noticed, speak Thai very, very well :-). My boyfriend says there are a couple guys of African or Thai-African decent that speak Thai perfectly. I'm always impressed by that, because I know how difficult it is to truly speak the language. Many of us might be able to understand now after living here a couple years, but getting the tones and complex structures correct is a really challenging goal to attain.
Anyway, the Africans are here, and they seem to concentrate themselves in the areas surrounding Sukumvit Road. I always wondered what they do for work down there, and have received many different answers from the local populace.
"Buying things for Africans."
"Learning the Thai language."
"Selling clothing."
"Selling drugs."
I gotta be honest, the latter response is the most often used when I ask a Thai this question. Many of them here seem to believe that most -- if not all -- Africans are here selling or buying drugs. Honestly, I'm not sure what many of them do, because I have never had a friend or colleague from Africa here or in the U.S.
That was until I came to my current university where I met my first African colleague. He is a late-30's Nigerian with a rather large chip on his shoulder :-P. Everyone in Thailand, he thinks, believes Africans are inferior. I can tell you that in my office that it is certainly not the case, but I'm not discounting that everyone has stereotypes and illogical thoughts regarding people considered 'different.' I realize that.
Then again, I do have to admit that many of the Thai people here believe that Africans or people of a darker skin complexion are poor and of lower class. I've written about this before, but I seem to hear alot from Asian people about Africans. I wonder what they would think after comparing my bank account to many Africans living here. That might be a good surprise :-).
Anyway, I can see why my colleague has that rather large chip permanently affixed :-). He's pissed that everyone treats him differently, and that treatment is largely based on stereotypes. One day, I asked him why he thought those stereotypes are perpetuated, and his response was a kind of confession. admitting that many of the Africans here are selling drugs and prostitution.
"That's what the people here want to buy! Africans are businessmen," he tells me.
I can't disagree with him there, except about that idea of 'businessmen' --- I'm not really sure what that term means. Anyway, this country, for all of its quirks and beauty, is quite welcoming of many western imports. This includes Louis Vuitton, KFC, and Chrystal Meth. I can't figure out which contributes more to tearing the social fabric of Thailand, but we can definitely agree that the last one is bad for your physical health.
I do sympathisize with my colleague honestly. because I understand his predicament. He isn't selling meth or prostitution, just teaching English at a university, supposedly (just kidding!). But still, he has to shoulder stereotypes every day from the uneducated and the uninformed. He thinks America would be better, and I have to say that he might be right --- maybe just a little bit. If someone thinks they're going to avoid stereotypes and racsim by going to America, then she or he needs to read some stuff before hitting our amber waves of grain.
I for one am really interested in the people living here, Africans, Pakistanis, Burmese, Fillipino, I want to know about them all. Just to confirm, I don't believe any of the stereotypes out there, except the one about older Chinese people always stealing toilet paper or taking the unairconditioned bus to save two or three baht. I believe that one.
So, if you're a foreigner living in Thailand, and are in the market for a friend. Here I am. I'm taking applications 24 hours a day, and I'm available for story-telling or KFC any time :-).
Soi Cowboy and Soi Nana are the most famous strips of go-go bars in this area, and if you are interested, you can find thousands of Isaan and foreign girls working the bars for some cash. My door doesn't swing this way, but I have friends that... oh, I don't want to make you uncomfortable :-).
Anyway, I am always interested to walk around this area because there are people from areas of the world that I have never visited. I see Russians, Libyans, Iranians, Pakistanis (I know because they told me :-P), and many people from African nations. I've talked to many of these people just to see where they're from, ask them about life in Thailand, you know :-).
Many of the Africans seem to live here full time, and some of them, I've noticed, speak Thai very, very well :-). My boyfriend says there are a couple guys of African or Thai-African decent that speak Thai perfectly. I'm always impressed by that, because I know how difficult it is to truly speak the language. Many of us might be able to understand now after living here a couple years, but getting the tones and complex structures correct is a really challenging goal to attain.
Anyway, the Africans are here, and they seem to concentrate themselves in the areas surrounding Sukumvit Road. I always wondered what they do for work down there, and have received many different answers from the local populace.
"Buying things for Africans."
"Learning the Thai language."
"Selling clothing."
"Selling drugs."
I gotta be honest, the latter response is the most often used when I ask a Thai this question. Many of them here seem to believe that most -- if not all -- Africans are here selling or buying drugs. Honestly, I'm not sure what many of them do, because I have never had a friend or colleague from Africa here or in the U.S.
That was until I came to my current university where I met my first African colleague. He is a late-30's Nigerian with a rather large chip on his shoulder :-P. Everyone in Thailand, he thinks, believes Africans are inferior. I can tell you that in my office that it is certainly not the case, but I'm not discounting that everyone has stereotypes and illogical thoughts regarding people considered 'different.' I realize that.
Then again, I do have to admit that many of the Thai people here believe that Africans or people of a darker skin complexion are poor and of lower class. I've written about this before, but I seem to hear alot from Asian people about Africans. I wonder what they would think after comparing my bank account to many Africans living here. That might be a good surprise :-).
Anyway, I can see why my colleague has that rather large chip permanently affixed :-). He's pissed that everyone treats him differently, and that treatment is largely based on stereotypes. One day, I asked him why he thought those stereotypes are perpetuated, and his response was a kind of confession. admitting that many of the Africans here are selling drugs and prostitution.
"That's what the people here want to buy! Africans are businessmen," he tells me.
I can't disagree with him there, except about that idea of 'businessmen' --- I'm not really sure what that term means. Anyway, this country, for all of its quirks and beauty, is quite welcoming of many western imports. This includes Louis Vuitton, KFC, and Chrystal Meth. I can't figure out which contributes more to tearing the social fabric of Thailand, but we can definitely agree that the last one is bad for your physical health.
I do sympathisize with my colleague honestly. because I understand his predicament. He isn't selling meth or prostitution, just teaching English at a university, supposedly (just kidding!). But still, he has to shoulder stereotypes every day from the uneducated and the uninformed. He thinks America would be better, and I have to say that he might be right --- maybe just a little bit. If someone thinks they're going to avoid stereotypes and racsim by going to America, then she or he needs to read some stuff before hitting our amber waves of grain.
I for one am really interested in the people living here, Africans, Pakistanis, Burmese, Fillipino, I want to know about them all. Just to confirm, I don't believe any of the stereotypes out there, except the one about older Chinese people always stealing toilet paper or taking the unairconditioned bus to save two or three baht. I believe that one.
So, if you're a foreigner living in Thailand, and are in the market for a friend. Here I am. I'm taking applications 24 hours a day, and I'm available for story-telling or KFC any time :-).
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Democracy is Great, Don't You Think?
This past week, the Thai government has been engaging in serious press relations. Prime Minister Abhisit is traveling, speaking, and interviewing; hoping to get a spot on some international special showing everyone that Thailand is a safe travel destination.
Just last week, he survived a 'no confidence' vote in the Parliament, and then went on to press conferences and an Asian tour to assure us (foreigners) that Thailand is indeed kind and welcoming. Kind and welcoming, that is, for the people that agree with the government :-P.
Over the past month, police and military have been making arrests and detaining suspected 'terrorists.' These people are usually those who have voiced opposition to the current government's legitimacy. Activists, professors, and foreigners (an Australian and a Brit) have been rounded up by government security officials and charged with 'terrorism,' 'violating the emergency decree,' or 'inciting violence.'
I'm not sure how some Chulalangkorn professors or others were committing the above acts, but it seems many are held for questioning in a small city (Saraburi) about an hour outside of Bangkok. The government doesn't seem to have many answers for the reasoning behind the detentions, but it does seem that everyone being held was -- in some way, shape, or form --critical of the current regime.
Again, I am not Thai, and thus cannot fully understand the ways of government here. I can tell you though that it's not a good time to dissent right now. If you disagree, jail might be coming.
Just yesterday, the government seemed to invoke the emergency decree against a group of disabled people lobbying for an allotment of lottery tickets (why they need to sell lottery tickets, I don't know). Looks like the dissenters were charged with violating the emergency decree, and chased in to a canal prior to getting away. :-P I'm not making it up: http://www.bangkokpost.com/news/local/38397/police-break-up-lottery-protest
For his part, the Prime Minister continues to extol the virtues of democracy. I caught one interview he did with Al Jazeera. "Everyone," he said "must abide by the law," and "follow the mandates of the legal process." In his opinion, that is the only way forward in this country.
Of course, I can get it, but I'm wondering what the law really is these days?
It gets kind of difficult to figure out what really is inciting violence, a violation of the emergency decree, or the definition of a "terrorist" (a catch-all statute?). I can tell you this, if you were somehow linked to red-shirt leadership, you are probably guilty of one, if not all of them.
Yeah it is great for everyone to follow the law, especially when you're the one making it. Lol, that's why I'm a teacher :-P!
Thinking back to the interviews, I am always interested to hear the Prime Minister's spin of events leading to the deadly clashes in April and May. He is quite talented, skillfully explaining a carefully scripted story that reflects positively on his government in calm and cool terms. Everything sounds so righteous and tolerant to me, the outsider.
He even agreed to take responsibility for any fault found in the government's handling of the protestors these past two months. An independent panel will be created, says the democratic leader, and that panel will be able to examine all events during, and leading up to, the deadly clashes in April and May. The Prime Minister says that he and his ministry are fully prepared to 'take responsibility' for any missteps the panel uncovers. It will begin work, he said, once the government chooses the timing, direction, and leadership of this investigative committee :-P.
Democracy really is cool :-P.
This might be an inflammatory analogy, but what if we were to charge George W. Bush with a war crime and then allowed him to appoint his own committee to investigate? If I were charged with a crime, I would also like to appoint my own judge and jury. I wonder if the Prime Minister will permit those charged with acts against the State to appoint their own committees to see if they were in fact guilty of the crime....
A couple days ago, Mr. Abhisit took the initiative and appointed his own panel's chief: http://www.bangkokpost.com/news/local/180616/khanit-burdens :-). It will be interesting to see what the panel finds.
Just last week, he survived a 'no confidence' vote in the Parliament, and then went on to press conferences and an Asian tour to assure us (foreigners) that Thailand is indeed kind and welcoming. Kind and welcoming, that is, for the people that agree with the government :-P.
Over the past month, police and military have been making arrests and detaining suspected 'terrorists.' These people are usually those who have voiced opposition to the current government's legitimacy. Activists, professors, and foreigners (an Australian and a Brit) have been rounded up by government security officials and charged with 'terrorism,' 'violating the emergency decree,' or 'inciting violence.'
I'm not sure how some Chulalangkorn professors or others were committing the above acts, but it seems many are held for questioning in a small city (Saraburi) about an hour outside of Bangkok. The government doesn't seem to have many answers for the reasoning behind the detentions, but it does seem that everyone being held was -- in some way, shape, or form --critical of the current regime.
Again, I am not Thai, and thus cannot fully understand the ways of government here. I can tell you though that it's not a good time to dissent right now. If you disagree, jail might be coming.
Just yesterday, the government seemed to invoke the emergency decree against a group of disabled people lobbying for an allotment of lottery tickets (why they need to sell lottery tickets, I don't know). Looks like the dissenters were charged with violating the emergency decree, and chased in to a canal prior to getting away. :-P I'm not making it up: http://www.bangkokpost.com/news/local/38397/police-break-up-lottery-protest
For his part, the Prime Minister continues to extol the virtues of democracy. I caught one interview he did with Al Jazeera. "Everyone," he said "must abide by the law," and "follow the mandates of the legal process." In his opinion, that is the only way forward in this country.
Of course, I can get it, but I'm wondering what the law really is these days?
It gets kind of difficult to figure out what really is inciting violence, a violation of the emergency decree, or the definition of a "terrorist" (a catch-all statute?). I can tell you this, if you were somehow linked to red-shirt leadership, you are probably guilty of one, if not all of them.
Yeah it is great for everyone to follow the law, especially when you're the one making it. Lol, that's why I'm a teacher :-P!
Thinking back to the interviews, I am always interested to hear the Prime Minister's spin of events leading to the deadly clashes in April and May. He is quite talented, skillfully explaining a carefully scripted story that reflects positively on his government in calm and cool terms. Everything sounds so righteous and tolerant to me, the outsider.
He even agreed to take responsibility for any fault found in the government's handling of the protestors these past two months. An independent panel will be created, says the democratic leader, and that panel will be able to examine all events during, and leading up to, the deadly clashes in April and May. The Prime Minister says that he and his ministry are fully prepared to 'take responsibility' for any missteps the panel uncovers. It will begin work, he said, once the government chooses the timing, direction, and leadership of this investigative committee :-P.
Democracy really is cool :-P.
This might be an inflammatory analogy, but what if we were to charge George W. Bush with a war crime and then allowed him to appoint his own committee to investigate? If I were charged with a crime, I would also like to appoint my own judge and jury. I wonder if the Prime Minister will permit those charged with acts against the State to appoint their own committees to see if they were in fact guilty of the crime....
A couple days ago, Mr. Abhisit took the initiative and appointed his own panel's chief: http://www.bangkokpost.com/news/local/180616/khanit-burdens :-). It will be interesting to see what the panel finds.
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