A Sherpa

We were sitting in a movie, my boyfriend and I. He moved his hand a little to the left, mine moved to the right. They met, and we held there for the duration of Avatar. That was a feat I thought, as the movie lasted almost three hours. It was a visually stunning idea, but I thought alot of it was formulaic and preachy (;-)). Just a little too overt for my liking I guess.

Kind of like the regular Sunday American sermons (am I going to hell for that?), ie, you do something contrary to natural law, you will get yours....

The film ended with most characters getting theirs, and me looking for a way to the exit. Nearly four hours had passed, and I was really hungry.

"Hey," my boyfriend said, "can we meet my friends for dinner? They're all off work and want to eat together."

With my boyfriend, that generally means, "we're eating together, do you want to eat?" I went along with it, but knew what the end result would be.

We always end up going out with them, and they talk animatedly, getting excited about their jobs, life, and planned cosmetic enhancements (usually the nose :)). I just kind of sit back and quietly finish my Miso soup. The talk goes on for awhile and eventually they get bored and then want to talk to me.

I'm always uncomfortable with that. I feel like I'm on display. A show animal or figure maybe, sitting alone just kind of enjoying my banana or chew toy, when up goes the curtain, and there I am in a stadium surrounded by people and some guy with a shiny suit, a whip, and a wooden chair. Maybe that last part is a fantasy ;-).

Anyway, when I'm on like that at the Thai dinner table, it means I have to speak Thai, and my boyfriend, just kind of sits by. He smiles and then corrects my pronunciation or words that are wrong (we never speak Thai together).

Meanwhile, everyone else gets to watch, and my quiet respite with Miso is shattered by my service as Thai entertainer as everyone listens and laughs.

Maybe that's my own problem. No one asked me to entertain did they? Perhaps they just want to talk, and I'm infusing that with my sense of disquiet.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I should be practing my Thai more. I moved here. There are hurdles. But I seem to be the one who comes up with them. Less excuses, more work. Learning a language, and learning Thai people is a real challenge. I have to work harder, and complain alot less.