I love music from home. It blends so much because 'home' isn't just one culture, style, or country. It's the combination of so much from everywhere. Diversity creates such beautiful art.
Watch out, next week's post might be about music...
So, I got an email the other day that somehow knew the 'top Google searches' that brought people to my blog. I'm not quite sure how this person knows this information and I don't.... You might not believe it, but I'm not really sure who actually reads...
Anyway, I scrolled through his information and came upon the following search in 10th position, "too intelligent to be happy." A light smirk crossed my generally steely veneer :-) as I thought back to a recent incident.
If Google only knew...
When I first moved here I went to the local mall (not far from my aparment). That seems to be what everybody does on Sundays.
As I walked and shopped, I thought I noticed alot of fashionably dressed people, especially the younger guys. That didn't really surprise me I guess. I just thought maybe that Thailand was a poor nation and without a mall in the first place. That probably surprised me....
Yeah, I was sheltered....
Eventually, nature called as I was walking, and it just so happened that it rang while I was passing through an upper floor near a restroom.
I entered this restroom and noticed that many of the fashionably dressed boys in the crowd also felt a similar need to use the facilities. Everyone was sidled up next to each other, taking care of their business at urinals without partitions.
It wasn't a big deal to me at first, I pulled up at the one open urinal and prepared myself. The process is usually quick and easy (still in my 20's ;-P), but that day it was rough to get started. It makes me uncomfortable when someone else is around watching, and the boy next to me was looking (more staring) at me!
I started to look from side to side and it finally dawned on me that this was in fact a cruising spot (I am really dense sometimes). Those snappy dressers were all the local Thai gay guys, and all of them were taking turns, stealing glances at each other and their neighbors 'equipment.' :-).
You know, I knew about this in America, but I tended to steer clear of those bathrooms at home. Toilet stuff just makes me uncomfortable and it's not a turn-on... well....
So anyway, my neighbor just wanted to see, and at first I tried to turn away, but eventually I just really had to go. I started and he kept trying to get a look. I kept trying to turn away, but it took me a minute to do. He eventually got his glance...
When I was done, I could have walked away, but I was curious now about him and about all of this. I just stood there, trying to steal a glance at him (don't ask me why...), and when our eyes met, it was definitely lust.
He was maybe 22, short but with broad muscular shoulders, brown eyes, and dark Thai looks. I was uhhh, attracted. He knew it.
He motioned towards a bathroom stall, and for some reason (well I really know actually), I followed him. He waited for me to enter and he locked the door. He took off his shirt (!) and made me take mine off too.
He was really muscular with a tight body and six pack. Both of us were attracted and excited.
We took a little time touching each other, then he got down to business, taking care of me in the stall. I'd never done anything like that before. I was blown away :-P.
He took my phone number and we talked a couple times, but never met again.
That was until the other day. I was walking to my class at another building of the university. Students were walking in a different direction, but I saw him walk by in his school uniform.
He saw me too, and we both registered recognition through shared anxiety :-P.
If I was so intelligent, don't you think I would have realized that all of the above was not such a good idea?
A comment earlier said, "Don't **** where you eat." I wish I would have thought about that comment a lot harder a year ago.
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the experience of "shared anxiety" is a good sign..he wants to keep this a secret also..thats my spin..you should not worry about this in the least...this wasnt on campus...the new friend wasnt wearing a uni uniform...have fond memories of a different encounter..that was mutually consented...love your blog...your cool!
ReplyDeleteit happened. you both enjoyed, its over and now you realize reasons to be more careful. my spin is different than the last poster. I suggest you do have some concerns. as a teacher myself you have mostly your professional reputation and both gay and academic circles are a lot smaller here than we know till we are here a few years. gossip about gay predatory teachers having sex with students can smash a career here. look even on the national level how much do you read in the papers each day that tells you how much gossip is going on compared to hard factual news? remember you are a guest here and one who hopes to get paid to be here. more onus on us than otherwise. be safe and be careful. public bathroom sex with students aint too bright. you are far brighter than that.
ReplyDelete:-), what's that line, "Two versions of the story, and both of them are true." I really love that line...
ReplyDeleteWhat book was that :-)?
So, It was a consensual encounter, and at the time, it didn't seem problematic, just kind of different for me. It was strange, different, and fun. I chalked it up to a new culture and the attenuating shock accompanying it.
In my defense, I did not have a job here at the time. I was staying in Bangkok with savings, and I was unsure of exactly what I was going to do. Teaching (at a university fairly close to my aparment) was the furthest thing from my mind.
Does that really excuse my conduct? No, not really. I am a foreign visitor here (emphasis on the visitor) so I should really watch my step. Moreover, I should be more forward- thinking. (?)
Anyway, if he was my student now, I would NEVER make that kind of mistake. The problem is, it can be difficult to explain the distinction after my previous conduct. I have to keep consequences on my mind if there is ever a similar, future temptation ;-).
I apologize but I found the incident funny and it almost like coming out of a sitcom. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteWhen the incident happened you were not in a position where you had a duty of care to the other person and he was of age already. No one can argue against that.
The problem will be how the two of you behave around each other going forward. As long as you keep things straightly professional and he does not brag about this or want to rekindle the lust/romance then all should be fine.
On the other hand if he finds you becoming his teacher makes you more desirable, then it could becomes Fatal Attraction......I used too much imagination.
@teacherbob2: After a week of holiday in Bkk and some hours on gayromeo, I can tell that the gay scene (at least the part on Silom and gayromeo) is small.
ReplyDelete@toogaybangkok: A nice story! Another point on my list what to do on my next holiday in January (I don’t like the idea of cruising in public restrooms, I never saw a restroom where I would like to have any form of sex in, but I will have a look). I hope he doesn’t become a pupil of yours! What were your reasons to move to Bkk? You wrote earlier that you’ve not been to Bkk before, now you write you had no job in the beginning. I’m curious! (I’m at your age, I know I will leave the country I’m now studying in a year, I will not go back to my country of birth and I’m now procrastinating decision about where to go – trying to optimize career and availability of cute guys, strongly lopsided towards career.)
When I was a kid, in the Spring, I'd often be late for school because I'd stop to pick wild strawberries on the way.
ReplyDeleteGood post. Honest, interesting and with just the right humour.
:-).
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping he doesn't show up in class. That would be kind of awkward :-).
I'm thinking he's probably more embarassed by the whole thing. You should have seen the increase of steps when our eyes met. He was really hoping his friends will stay oblivious to his bathroom encounters :-).