There I was logging on yesterday to write an entry about some things I've been doing in Bangkok. Boyfriend, language mistakes, taxis, work, Thong-Lor, and the Bed Supper Club, lol. There's alot I need to say, but it still doesn't seem right to write :-).
Heavy-hearted, I saw that a blogger here in Bangkok, Kawadjan, lost his Dad, and I've been thinking about it since I read his first entry.
Initially, I didn't know what, or whether, to say anything about it. I don't know what it's like to lose someone, and I don't want to pass on inappropriate or empty words....
Now that I think back to his entry about losing his dad, I start to realize he didn't know what to say to people who experienced loss either.
Knowing what to say can be really difficult for some of us. Many have trouble connecting; many of us can't really understand.....
In my heart, I feel there are really very few things one can voice when someone they care for loses family, friends, loved ones.
Now, I just think it takes action, caring takes action ------ or just maybe a word or two about them as people....
Gone, maybe, is the idea that we can ever really relate to or understand someone, so I've stopped trying to try. I'm not thereafter attempting to understand how they 'are coping' either. I just want to show I care, and now that I think about it, I'm still not sure whether we ever really know ourselves. In that vein, I'm thinking too that we probably never really know other people... anyway, I digress in a nonsensical way :-)...
Of the many things I am certain about loss is that things/people are always left behind.
From my reading, Kawadjan's father left behind people (his family) ---- and those are people, to me, to be proud of. I would feel proud. Kawadjan as a son has a great deal of talent. If you've ever read that blog, you know there's a guy with a sense of humor and an impeccable fashion sense ;-) (someone not afraid to be himself).
Under close inspection also :-), you see that Kawadjan's father has a son with a talent for writing, books, art and language. I'm always interested to see what's on his bedside table :-), and I read his writing with a big smile, happy at his turns of phrase and skill. I wish alot of times that I could write like that. That I could work like that. That I could travel and be fashionable and fabulous, and all things like that :-).
If a father has something to be proud of in this life, I should always think it's the talents and accomplishments of his labor and children that matter. If that was a measuring stick for Kawadjan's father, I would think he felt his life was complete, and full. I would think that he looked back with happiness on the people and life he left behind. Thinking of Kawadjan tonight, and my thought and prayers are with him and his family.
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Well, it's so moving that you feel moved by someone's dad passing away. I wonder how may people's dads passed away on this day. I guess hundreds of thousands. You are still avoiding talking about your own life. How are things at the bed supper club. I imagine it must be one of the most pretentious places in Bangkok. I can't imagine what you must wear when you go there. So kind of see-through vest and a Bruno hair-do. Do let us know what you are really doing in bkk, and spare us the second hand pity fall all the people whose daddy died lately.
ReplyDelete:-), It might be trite, but it's not pity. Moreover, it isn't really about me, and, with respect, it's not about what you want either....
ReplyDeleteDoes it strike you as insensitive what you wrote? Also, what do your words say about you?
As I said before, if you're experiencing something now, here in Bangkok, I'm willing to listen. My email is above, and you're free to write. I'd really be interested to hear about your life, tell me :).
As I said before, I just wanted people to know that Kawadjan is a talented person that lost someone. That I was thinking about him and loss.
People matter to me, and what I did with my boyfriend or experienced outside in Bangkok has very little significance when compared with someone else I care for.
I think that's all that needs to be said.
Take it easy, me too.
ReplyDeleteI dont know what the first commentator's issues are but his comment is a bit harsh.
However, he does have a point. I think we are desperately waiting for your own moments of brilliance to come through again...we miss when you talked about your own life, your self, your neighbourhood and your dates.
Giving us and entry about what you would love to talk about, but for some reason cant is a bit of a tease.
You have a great talent in writing too and we'd like to see more of that. So let us know what you are up to, me too. :)
thank you for your condolences for your friend...you are truly a nice person and good friend.....last two comments where rather insensitive toward the moment...you do have a diverse following
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments guys :-).
ReplyDeleteYour point is taken BB, and I appreciate your sentiment. It's put kindly, and flattery can get you anywhere :-). Lol, I just wanted to write about someone other than myself maybe for awhile, and then with Kawadjan I just was thinking about him I guess.... Anyway, I'm really Glad you're back in Bangkok ;-).
Lance, thank you for your words again. You really are an encouraging person. That's awesome :-).... I'm thinking alot of people are lucky to have you in their life :-).
Have a nice Monday guys :-).
Me too.
ReplyDeletegoodness I am of course not wanting to diminish your feeling of sympathy for other people, that was not my intention.
it's in fact nice that you have come out in support of someone.
but of course we are also wanting to hear from me too about himself:) ....but I think you got that point:)
We are born helpless, and die helpless...somewhere in the middle we think we got it all together, then someone close dies or lose a love and suddenly realize that we need each other and no one is really independent. It was a nice intention to write about his loss, because I think deep down you know it could happen to you.
ReplyDeleteTHE DAYS DRAG..the newest post by your friend...is a very touching learning post on how people grieve differently and deal with their last days..very moving!!!
ReplyDeleteNice thoughts which reflect your personality, I am sure your students and friends in BKK are happy you are with them.
ReplyDeleteThe first comment is probably a member from that nasty gay forum where most of the comments are similar about any topic, I don't waste my time posting anything their anymore.
Next week I will be back in Thailand, I miss all my friends and nearly everything about the LOS when I am back in farangland. Your stories and those from Bitch of Bangkok, Kawadjan and Bangkok of the Mind are great for those of us who can't live there all the time.
Guys, you have alot of ideas in here :-)! I would first just say to BB, no worries mate :-). I never took that you were coming from a negative place. Your comments are always welcome and incisive. (Just read your last entry too btw, keep your chin up :-). You're an intelligent and talented person. Good things will come to you :-).
ReplyDeleteWas Once, I know that my family and my life as it stands now is not static. Change can always come, and loss is a part of that. I think you're right, I recognize it and so do you.
:-), You're right Lance too btw, that was a moving post. He really is a talented writer :0)!
Finally, just wanted to say thanks Aussie. You made me smile. Hope you have a great trip back here :).