Without Effort

In the time I took to come up from my depressive episode :-), I met someone. He is Thai-Chinese -- third generation -- but not from the wealthy elite of downtown Bangkok. If you read about Bangkok culture, I think you probably already know that people with money here are Thai-Chinese. They immigrated two-three-and four generations ago, settling and working their way into government and land ownership.

Anyway, maybe I can write more on this another time. I was working on writing about the new guy I met, before I went off on a different tangent.... Yeah, so he's Thai-Chinese, a little bit younger than me (26) , and his family comes from a city about an hour-and-a-half away. He speaks English really well, and he's kind.

I can tell you that, I guess.

He spent some time in a foreign land, practicing his English and working as a server in the banquet center of a big hotel. There he learned slang, jokes, and strange pronunciation. I tease him about it, and he gets defensive. I really think it's cute :-).

We met online. It started with just chatting, once or twice a week. We'd talk about a wide range of things, and I actually felt close to him before we ever met. He was casual and kind, thoughtful. We had similar interests, and he analyzed things a little more deeply than I'm used to. I was/am challenged :-).

That's cool, because I tend to really connect with people who are thoughtful --- it makes me want to be a better person.

So, back to meeting, the first time we actually saw each other in person, was at a large shopping mall downtown. The ones who live here probably know it.

We met and walked. Talked for a long time and had some Japanese food together. He was cute, kind, and liked to smile.

As we talked, I could tell he was sensitive, which kind of surprised me. I was just starting to feel better about my life and myself, and there was this guy who was sweet and thoughtful, if not a little wounded too. I think there's been people in his life that have hurt him.

He confessed to me that he had once been overweight. He wasn't now, but there was still this feeling I think of knowing what it was like to be different. I can appreciate that.

The subject of his family came up, and then we talked about growing up gay. Other kids teased him, but he said time passed, and he got over it, accepted who he was. I could see though that hurtful people still got to him. That was vulnerability that I thought was both cute and sweet.

I could, and can still, identify with him.

We only talked that night.... Well, I gotta admit.... We did eat ice cream. For those of you that have never been to Bangkok, Swensen's is cool :-).

It was like this really cool feeling getting to know someone more deeply. We went on more dates together. I got to be around someone that was kind and caring, and he's taught me about Thai culture and people. Things I didn't know or really understand before.

Then I got to teach him about my culture, if I have one really lol (yeah, I'm American), and I help him with his English. We usually almost always speak it, because he really likes it. Only some days does he speak with me in Thai.

Last weekend we were reading a magazine from here called, "I Get English." He said he likes to read it, but I think he liked the picture of Mario Maurer :-)... Anyway, they had a pretty humorous quiz in there that tests Thai understanding of my language. It was pretty cool to hear him trying to work out the meaning of 'taking someone for a ride.'

Ultimately he decided that it meant giving someone a lift on his or her motorcycle.

I laughed, he got upset for ten minutes. Then he smiled and we laid in my bed together finishing the quiz in our boxer shorts :-).

There's times where we have trouble crossing cultural divides. Handling disagreements or stressful situations can be pretty funny actually. Some days he's moody or I'm moody. Or worse, we both are feeling queenish at the same time. Lol, I'm not really queeny I think (he might disagree :-)), but I can get super frustrated :-). I do think we try our best to understand each other though....

We tend to meet on the weekends. He comes up from his hometown, and we go to the movies or eat. I think I need to be careful with the latter, I might have to worry about putting on Thai pounds :-).

The thing is, we tend to work out ok. Sometimes, I'm surprised by this temper, it can be fiery :-). I'm usually the one playing 'good cop' in conflicts :-P. For his part, he is surprised, I think, by what he calls my 'disorganization.' Clothes thrown everywhere, music and books strewn all over my room, my porn collection (just kidding guys, I still haven't bought anything from the guys on Silom :-)). He's always brushing off my clothes, fixing my hair, looking me over...

The other weekend we were sitting in my room, and he had some of my Thai cd's (Potato) I bought at the local 'bazaar' ( I can't think of a better word for it. It's like some outdoor fair with a ferris wheel, dusty rides, bright colored neon lights following the Thai flag, and people everywhere bargaining over strange niknaks :-P, including things like used shoes, wheelchairs, music, dirty jeans, spicy food, and dental supplies... lol).

He was translating the songs for me and I listened to him half singing, half speaking softly in English. He was quietly explaining meanings as I laid there listening thoughtfully to the moment.

The air was heavy from heat and humidity. The fan was set to full blast, rustling clothes, papers, posters. He was singing softly in my ear, moving random cds from my bed with his feet, stroking and parting my hair.

He told me that Thai music can be really beautiful. Then he laughed quietly, and told me to clean my room.