Hey all, just to let you know that I'm still out there. It took me some time to write again. Sorry for the lag time, but I think I got caught up in a lot of stuff --- a school trip to China, a week (or weak, depending on how you look at it :P) period of self loathing, meeting someone I like, and a general cultural meltdown that I think is starting to wear off. I'm also back to reading again which I really needed. A good biography keeps me grounded...
On top of all that, I celebrated my year anniversary in Bangkok yesterday, and the feelings have been really strong.
In the next week or two, I want to write about all of the above, try to work out some things in my mind that I've been ruminating on, but failed to put down on paper (electronic paper I guess).
I just wanted to write a few things before I have to go teach class this morning. First, I love Bangkok the city!
I love the cultures I can find by riding the 7 bus. I enjoy a good meal with my friends. I'm fascinated by the differences in Asian and Western thought. The ways of thinking here are always surprsing me :-), especially the Thai and Chinese confluence of culture, duty, thrift, materialism, education, mai ben rai, folk lore, atheism, buddhism, and class/caste.
I also love dark places in the city. The strange karaoke and pageantry bars you find in the outskirts. The dimly lit, un-airconditioned buses that run to far places here that most foreigners (including many Thai) are afraid to ride. I like to sit in the dimly lit Chinese restaurants where Mandarin, Chinese characters, and oily food are exchanged by Burmese, Thai, and Chinese people.
I really love to get a haircut in Bangkok. The people do the head massage, they primp, they preen, they finally cut, then they massage and wash again. The process is really calming. I can't really compare it to any other experience with a haircut that I had at home, I guess I was never really big on expensive haircuts though.... Anyway, all of it for around $5.00 in my neighborhood.
I'm intimidated by the Thai too by the way. There's still times where I feel they don't care for foreigners or maybe me. I sometimes feel that I'm completely adrift in a sea of dark haired aliens (to me) who care only about my relative worth to them, rather than my worth (intrinsic) as a human being. There's times where I understand little of what they're saying. All of that scares me.
I miss my friends at home too. They still wonder why I left them.
There are days here that I know why though. I meet someone who is kind to me for the briefest moment. Somebody offers me their umbrella to walk through the rain. A local Thai tells me that I speak Thai well (even though I know that they take extreme liberty with the truth). Sometimes, a student actually learns something and my heart is warmed.
I have my days, but there's a lot here I have to be thankful for. I just thought someone should know.
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I'm intimidated by the Thai too by the way. There's still times where I feel they don't care for foreigners or maybe me. I sometimes feel that I'm completely adrift in a sea of dark haired aliens (to me) who care only about my relative worth to them, rather than my worth (intrinsic) as a human being. There's times where I understand little of what they're saying. All of that scares me.
ReplyDeleteI think what you say above goes to the heart of the 'falang's' experience in terms of his relations with the locals. From an early age Thais are brain-washed into believing that foreigners are to be treated with the deepest suspicion. They are are taught that they have never been occupied by colonial powers and must always be on their guard again the Westerner 'falang.' who is always trying to bring in evil ideas that will enslave the great Thai people, who have steadfastly resisted the domination of the west. Thais are therefore xnophobic and nationalistic. Look at the way the PAD went up the the border recently to protest against Cambodia having rights over the temple area. This demonstration was designed to whip up nationalistic feeling as a cheap way for the PAD to promote themselves as a political cause. It's typical of the kind of events you see on all third world countries, in which the regimes stir up nationalistic feeling as a way of diverting attention from the fact that the authorities care for nothing more than promoting there own vestied interests.
Thais are also afraid to be associated with westerners. Westerners take freedom of speech as a natural right. There is no freedom in Thailand. Thais are simply not allowed to talk about the kind of political system the would like to live under. A thai is not allowed to say that he/she would like to live in a republic. A woman did this recently and was arrested under the lese majeste laws and was give an 18 year jail term. The fact that she was tried secretly was reported in not one Thai newspaper. It was only because a British journalist called Jonathan Head reported it in the BBC that anyone even found out that Thailand is a land of smiles and secret trials. He was also, absurdly slapped with Lese Majeste charges.
I've worked in the Thai education system for the past five years, and I have seen that Thais are taught to conform to the way things are, they are taught never to question authority, the learn by rote and imaginitive, critical thinking is discouraged.
I've seen children being taught how to prostrate themselves in front of teachers, parents and other higher ups. When they go into a Thai teacher's office the kneel down on the floor in front of the teacher. Education in Thailand is a political tool for keeping the people passive, submissive and obediant.
Of course, there are Thais who deeply resent this, which is why you have periodical uprising leading to instablility. The authorites accept this as the price they pay for maintaining the status quo favouring the elite.
And one could go on and on.
Welcome back! Been looking forward for some updates from you. :-)
ReplyDeleteNice to read some news about your life. I was in Bkk for holiday a month ago, so now I can relate to my own experiences. I enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteThese are an interesting mix of comments. :-P
ReplyDeleteThank you for your take comment #1, I think you took things a little further than I would go though. Are you Thai? When the students kneel before me, I generally extend my ring hand, and expect some kind of offering. 30 or 40 Baht usually does it. I hope you are doing the same :-P.
Wow, kawadjan, I didn't know you read my rambling, stream of consciousness drivel :-). I'm happy, and intimidated also :-). It's nice to hear that you read, thank you :).
Christian, I really hope you enjoyed your trip! Did you get to eat a Durian?
Nice to see you back again, I too enjoy your stories and experiences. I am now in Thailand for visit number 9 in two years. I am learnng each time I visit this still wonderful place. My heart sinks when I read the nagativity on some of the blogs and forums.
ReplyDeleteI know much of what they say is true but something always happens that reminds me about how fortunate I am to have found Thailand. Now I have a bf and extended Thai family. The Thais can be the most loving and the most frustrating people to be around and I am sure they think the same of me. It is reverse culture schock when I return home.
My bf lives in the rural area near Korat. Living in rice field village is something everyone should experience at least for a short time to gain an insight into Thai culture away from the city.
The content of this entry shows that you are thinking a lot about your time in Thailand which too me means it has been a mostly rewarding experience for yourself and also your students and friends.
Thanks Aussie, that's really nice of you to say :-). I will think about trying to find a boyfriend from the rice fields. I met a guy I like recently. He's not from the rice fields but a third generation Chinese citizen from the countryside. We'll see what happens...
ReplyDeleteMaybe I can just travel to Korat and see what it's like?
At the risk of being too curious btw, does anyone know what the First Comment is talking about the whole Jonathon Head thing?
Maybe I can just travel to Korat and see what it's like?
ReplyDeleteAs you probably already know the webmaster of the Rice Queen Diary has been blogging about his recent visit to Korat, well worth a read. I have been there often enough to run tours myself, a nice place in Thailand but better if you know someone to show you around.